rewind my care, throw it away

Like a tape rewinds it self
Self destruction of what I have to say
Doesn't ceace to be
you never amazed me
with your power stricken grief
Shattering my spine of emotions so hidden in me
The reality shattered like broken wine glasses
I'll just listen to you they say
Then they throw everything you say away
Like garbage
IS IT USELESS?
I THINK NOT
I have a right to speak
But you damage me and disease
The very nature of what is meant to say
how I feel about something
But to you I'm a joke
Discarded like useless cards in a game
Losing the bet
Winning regret
Swimming in a pool of what is left
Of your sanity
Humanity
For it you never meant to be free
you meant to dog me
and cross me
each day of my life
How those emotional knives cut me down
Watch me frown
But if you try to get away
I'll knock you to the ground
You'll be the one left gray
And you'll never shut out a word I say

For you can't rewind your care
The tape is destroyed
Turn your hate and pity on yourself
Throw it away like you did me
No friendship ever made
May the disease in you kill your hate
And create love once again
A powerful weapon
You played with as your own device
To slice open my sanctity of reality
CUT PAIN
OUCH INSANE
The knives hurt you as much as they did me
Sooner or later the numbness will kick in
And you'll be left there grieving
I won't pity what never pitied me
Slay yourself awake
in your denial you face your pain
I took my doses now you will feel your own high
and sooner or later you'll go down and cry
Like I did when you hurt me
You perversed me
that's one curse my life will never again see
Thanks to pride and some animosity
To stand up to you
But look thru the fake truth
That you could never tell
You were jealous
We've all been this way once in our lives
you turned the word into a sick creature
that feasted on my emotions
Taking away what I earned
respect
PRIDE
JOY
SMILES
now you feel what I feel
And I know it doesn't feel good
I won't take your hand
you never helped me
Let the disease in you change your ways
As you once denied to believe
GET OUT OF MY LIFE LEECH